Codependent Relationships: 3 Ways to Break Free

Codependency is unhealthy and complicated, especially when you don't know how you got yourself there. After all, it does take two to tango in a codependent relationship. In this post, I am going to teach you 3 effective ways to break free from codependent relationships. Now, I will preface that it's much easier said than done and working with a therapist as you implement the strategies would be best practice.

Before we break it down, let's define codependency...

According to Merriam-Webster, codependency is a psychological condition or relationship where someone has an unhealthy attachment to another person, often someone who is controlling or manipulative.

Oof... a lot of another person being projected onto another in this sticky situation... so, what can you do?

Well first of all, gaining awareness of the fact that you have found yourself in a codependent relationship is huge and a step in the right direction out of it. Now that you are aware and alert, let's break it down.

1. Establish Healthy Boundaries

   Boundaries are so essential when breaking free from a co-dependent relationship. I will be honest, the co-dependent counterpart will not "like" any implementation of boundaries, but it's important that you stick to them. You can try to have a conversation to discuss your needs and create a communication around boundaries but there's a high probability that it won't go over well. In this case, your boundaries need not be discussed, but can be shown through actions. For example, become less available to your co-dependent counterpart. That means that you too, will need to rely on yourself more and other forms of healthy support and not your co-dependent counter part. Breaking free isn't easy and will likely involve a lot of grief for the unhealthy attachment, but that is part of the process.

   
   

2. Gain a Mindfulness Practice

   Through mindfulness comes awareness and through awareness comes peace. As I mentioned before we begun to break this down, your awareness is the preliminary step to breaking free. It's important that you maintain a strong sense of awareness and mindfulness. A mindfulness practice will be an essential tool for emotional regulation and will help you return to your power. Your power rests in your self-awareness. Mindfulness isn't limited to meditation and/or yoga. Mindfulness can be a walk in nature with a focus on your breath and simply noticing your thoughts as you walk. There are countless ways to practice mindfulness, observation and non-judgment of your thoughts are the most essential parts.

3. Work to Improve your Self-Esteem

   This last tip is huge for a successful exit out of co-dependency. Take time everyday to invest in your self-care as that will become a pathway towards deeper self-love. Start taking care of yourself as if you were your own parent. I know this last step is loaded and is much easier said than done, but trust me, if you take this last step as a practice for life, you won't find yourself in co-dependent relationships anymore. One way to increase your self-esteem is to take five minutes a day and journal what you like about yourself. Then, read it back to yourself mentally and out loud. Befriend yourself in the process of increasing your self-esteem, that's the only way to do it! Remember, when you have your own back, you will find yourself relying on others less and breaking free from toxic relationships.

I understand how complicated co-dependent relationships are. It's completely valid to feel frustrated, angry, hopeful and all types of challenging and conflicting emotions. Codependent relationships are not limited to romantic ones. They may be familial and decades old, and even friendship. Heck, I feel I am personally in a codependent relationship with my dog! Give yourself grace as you gain awareness into co-dependency. Working with a trusted therapist could be especially helpful as you break-free from co-dependency. Discovering the root of it may be the most important therapeutic process. Try these steps and remember, if someone continues to disrespect your boundaries, it's okay to go no-contact as you prioritize yourself on the path to deeper self-love.

I am rooting for you!

With Love,

Jordan Spector, LCSW

Jordan Spector has passionately worked in Mental Health for nearly a decade. She integrates Mindfulness Based Cognitive Therapy and Somatic Therapy into an individualized treatment plan. To schedule an appointment with her,

CLICK HERE 

www.jordanspectortherapy.com